Comes Back Somehow
by ursweetheartless
Summary: eventual RoyxEd, fluff AND angst, He needed to know he had tried everything, even if he had dammned himself in the process. Maybe the weight on his soul, this new burden that he buried would erase his old burden's, consolidate them into one dark guilt
1. prolouge: the alchemist's sin

Title: Comes Back Somehow

author: ursweetheartles

warnings: shonen-ai and m/m themes, definite AU diverging from cannon at set point. Spoilers for that thing with Hughes we're not supposed to talk about

a/n: updating and writing is tough now, with school on again, so bear with me. Unbeta'd so any constructive feedback would be nice, looking for a beta at the moment, mine seems to have decided she likes it in Romania shrug

Disclaimer: i wrote Hirouma Arakawa a nice letter asking her if she'd like to trade FMA for some nice fudgy brownies. i have not heard back but i am hopefull...

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Prologue: The Alchemist's Sin

After the death of Maes Hughes, Roy Mustang was desperate. Maes had been the Colonel's oldest and closest friend, but he had always been so much more as well. Their platonic history had gone on since before Mustang could even remember, they had _always_ been friends. But when they had attended the military academy together, Roy honing his alchemy skills and Maes working on Intelligence, they had become so much more. It had started as a drunken experiment one night, after Roy had been dumped by his long time girlfriend. The flame of what lay between them burned hot and quick, the flames springing to life and dying in violent bursts of energy.

Then, it had been all about the sex, the primal pleasure of being together, and the pure sliding energy that was raised with every action they took together. It had taken a while for it to develop into a deeper connection than friendships and sex partners could ever provide on their own. It had taken much longer for either to admit these feelings, even just to themselves. The words "I love you" were never spoken, though they were felt and they were understood.

When Roy had fallen apart after coming home from Ishbal it was Maes who helped to fit the pieces back together, it was Maes who stopped the colonel from doing anything rash, from trying to bring back the dead, it was Maes who pushed Roy to keep on moving forwards, to latch onto his goals and never let go. So when Maes died there was no one around to still Roy's hand as it traced the patterns of the circles written in his notes, circles designed to do things no circle should ever do.

There was no one to see him crying on the floor of his basement lab, hands shaking so badly he could barely hold the chalk steady. No one to see him press bare fingers to white lines, pushing energy into the symbols and curves he had drawn so precisely. No one to see the form that laid in the middle when the light died. He looked worse for the wear, lying there barely breathing, covered with blood and dirt. Roy had barely seen the form before he had passed out from exertion, a small red stone falling from his hands, no longer glowing with stored energy. But he had, he had seen that face that meant so much to him, saw the soft lips fallen slightly open, the chest rising and falling haltingly. He had seen the curves of the face done slightly wrong, the chest moving too erratically, the bones of the pelvis jutting at unnatural angles.

Then he saw only darkness, and when he woke the form was gone and he had only his tears again, and a new ache in his heart. He had known that it wouldn't work, he had seen the results before, but he couldn't stop himself somehow. He needed to know he had _tried_ everything, even if he had damned himself in the process. Maybe the weight on his soul, this new burden that he buried would erase his old burden's, consolidate them into one dark void of guilt, of emptiness within himself. Maybe this crime would eclipse all the other, and it would tip the scales, finally causing the downfall he felt he was too much of a coward to cause himself directly.

He laid on the concrete for who knew how long, crying until he had no tears, shaking until he had nothing but the cold, but his breath. It had taken footsteps above him, and a familiar voice calling to snap him back into himself. What would he tell the boy in the house above him? The child called his name, concern written in his voice, more concern than he had any right to expect, more concern than he had heard since Maes had passed. He couldn't let Edward know what he had done, for Edward knew the experience too well, the boy had been in this position and had lost so much for it. The colonel's mind snapped back to himself at that thought. _But what have I lost? I have my body, all four limbs, all ten fingers and all ten toes, what have I lost in exchange for attempting to grasp the unattainable? Only time shall tell I guess._

And it was only a matter of time before Edward found the door, and Mustang on the hard basement floor struggling to rise still. He didn't stop until he saw those Golden eyes above him, saw the dawning recognition of what laid before him, saw the tears blinked back inside, saw the mouth screw up in horror, in rage, and then finally the face just drawn in sorrow. Edward held him then, cradled him in his lap, and the last thing he remembered before the world went black again was the feel of warm damp cheeks pressed into his shoulder, and hot sobbing breath against his neck.


	2. part 1: the nature of my crime

Title: Comes Back Somehow

author: ursweetheartles

warnings: shonen-ai and m/m themes, definite AU diverging from cannon at set point. Spoilers for that thing with Hughes we're not supposed to talk about

a/n: updating and writing is tough now, with school on again, so bear with me. Unbeta'd so any constructive feedback would be nice, looking for a beta at the moment, mine seems to have decided she likes it in Romania shrug

Disclaimer: i wrote Hirouma Arakawa a nice letter asking her if she'd like to trade FMA for some nice fudgy brownies. i have not heard back but i am hopefull...

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.. Part 1: the nature of my crime ..

Roy Mustang woke up in a room he didn't recognize but the sterile white that surrounded him and the heavy smell of antiseptic with a sour undertone, faintly like decay, told him he was in some sort of hospital. It took some time to register that there was someone else in the room, a head slumped down on the bed beside him, a golden braid that seemed achingly familiar, even if the face was turned away. How had he gotten here, he struggled to recall but his mind was blurry, there were snapshots of memory, Maes' face, only wrong, chalk trembling in his hand, someone holding him, crying. he tried but he couldn't put them together, and the more he tried the more they slipped away, crumbled under the pressure, until he was left with only a blur once more. The form beside him shifted, arms stretching, head lifting, eyes screwed shut, face gaping in a yawn.

"Fullmetal?" His voice cracked from disuse, the boy's eyes sprung open then, mouth hanging limp in shock.

"Mustang, you're awake! You'd been out for quite a while there, the nurses were getting worried." The boy blushed slightly, and Roy still look dazed, confused. Now he was trying to figure out why Edward of all people would be here in the hospital room.

"w-why, wh-what ..." He was having trouble making complete sentences then, the words and concepts were floating around in his head, he knew what he _wanted_ to ask, what he _meant_ to ask, but it didn't quite come out.

"You don't remember, do you?" Edward sighed and looked away, his hand resting lightly on Roy's arm.

"Tell me Fullmetal, why am I here?" The boy smiled distantly, but shook his head.

"Its better that you forget, that you let it slip away." Roy tried to grab the boy, and barely succeeded, though his grip was loose and pained.

"Tell me Fullmetal" His voice was as commanding as he could make it, but Edward only stared resolutely out the window, then he softened, pleading, "Fullmetal ... Edward, please..." His eyes showed the depth of confusion and hurt he felt, but Ed still shook his head lightly, standing up to leave.

"You need your rest, bastard. Maybe when you get out of the hospital, maybe when they figure out what's wrong, and they make you better."

And with that the boy left, quietly and quickly. Roy stared at the ceiling for a while before the nurse came in, fawning over him until she tired of it, then leaving him alone with his thoughts once more.

X

It took two weeks and three days for Mustang to be well enough to get out of the hospital, and in that time every one of his subordinates and friends came to visit him, including Alphonse Elric, who came several times and always brought him something, a book or a magazine, a deck of cards, anything that might stave off the boredom and horror of having to stay in that hospital room alone for most of the day. None of them, however, had any idea of what had happened to put him in there. the closest he got was from Hawkeye, who had said that she had gotten a distraught phone call from Edward that night, that Mustang had been hurt and that he needed help. She had rushed over immediately and had almost fainted from all the blood, both of them had been covered in it.

Edward had dragged him upstairs and out the front door, they had been waiting patiently on the front porch when she had rolled up, but Edward wouldn't explain what had happened, he had just kept sobbing, something about mistakes and apologies, about stopping something and losing something, and _oh gods, Roys hurt so bad, he needs help you have to help him, I can't do this by myself I just can't_. And that had been it, they had gotten to the hospital and stabilized his condition, and he had stayed asleep for three days, none of which had Edward left the man's side, he just stayed there constantly, waiting for Roy to wake up.

So the logical first thing Roy had done, after going home to shower and change clothes, was to find, and confront Edward. He needed to know how he'd ended up there, what he'd _done_. He'd figured that much out now, he'd done something that night, he'd done it alone, and he'd feared it and wanted it at the same time, it was something he felt strongly for, he could remember the clots of searing emotion simmering around the shards of the memories of that night. He knew Edward knew what it was, he had one clear memory after all of that, one moment he could feel in isolation from the others, without the blurry quality of all the others, and the emotions were different some how, it was different.

He remembered Edward sitting there, cradling his head and crying into his shoulder, the tears were hot and salty, the small body racked with sobs pressed against him. He remembered words chocked out around the cries, _Why, oh gods why, don't die on me, you cant die on me not now. that was stupid, so stupid. _

And now he needed to hear from Edward what had happened, what it was he had done to do so much damage to himself, to make Edward cry like that. It was the only time he had ever seen Edward cry. It must have been bad, for Edward to cry over _him_, Ed never seemed to feel anything warmer than a fragile trust from the boy, like he was distancing himself on purpose.

He knocked on the boy's dorm room door, hoping that by dropping by unannounced that Edward would have less chance to ignore or avoid him. Roy couldn't let that happen, the boy had to answer him, he _had to_. Ed opened it and then almost slammed it right back shut again, he would have made it, to, if not for Roy's shoe in the way. He couldn't let the boy escape.

"Edward, I need to talk to you, very seriously. Is your brother in at the moment?" Ed sighed and stepped back, already resigned to dealing with the colonel, something he didn't want to do now.

"No" he said, eyes glued to the back of the couch.

"Good, I need to know what happened that night. What was it that I did that made me that way." he paused, and then added, in a quieter tone, "why were you crying over me?"

X

Roy walked swiftly in the dark, mulling over what the blonde boy had told him inside of his mind, the magnitude of what he had done settling over him. _I recognized the circle you drew_ Edward had said, refusing to meet the man's eyes, _it was so much like the one we had, way back then, only it was better, more elaborate, thought out farther than ours had been. It was obvious that you'd been preparing for a long time, studying hard. You did it better than we did, I would assume, but I didn't see the form, only you. By the time I got there whatever you brought back had already disappeared. Who knew, maybe it was made well enough to move on its own then, before any interference. All I knew was there was blood, there was so much blood. _The boy was on the verge of tears once more, it was clear from the desperate wobble in his voice, _I thought it had killed you, you weren't moving at all then, you were barely conscious. I remembered you tried to say something but it came out too weak. There was nothing more I could do, I panicked._

The boy's words floated in his head, who was it that he had brought back that night, if he had indeed brought back anyone at all. He didn't really doubt his capacity to try that method, even if he did know that it was going to fail, he had come so close before. The only thing between him and actually breaking that cardinal rule of alchemy had been Maes. _Oh gods, Maes! That must really be it, it must have been him._ It made sense to Roy in hindsight, Maes had too much to live for to be let die, but he knew that was not the real reason for trying. If he was telling the truth he would have to say they were dubious reasons indeed.

He couldn't live the same way without the man, without Maes standing beside or behind him pushing, pushing him upwards, towards some goal they had both swore he would reach one day. _Or Maes behind him, just pushing, pushing into him, sweat slicked skin sliding._ Yes, it had been an ultimately selfish decision, and one he knew would have nothing but bad consequences. He _knew_ that, but he also hoped that maybe it would work. It had been a plan of desperation, a decision made not with his conscious mind but with that whole he felt in his gut whenever he thought about Maes' smile, or his rough hands and sharp knives, whenever he really realized that he would never hear his voice again, or feel that hot wet mouth cling desperately to his skin. Even now, Roy felt tears welling up behind his eyes. But he blinked them back. Roy Mustang did _not_ cry.


	3. part 2: take me by the hand

Title: Comes Back Somehow

author: ursweetheartles

warnings: shonen-ai and m/m themes, definite AU diverging from cannon at set point. Spoilers for that thing with Hughes we're not supposed to talk about

a/n: updating and writing is tough now, with school on again, so bear with me. Unbeta'd so any constructive feedback would be nice, looking for a beta at the moment, mine seems to have decided she likes it in Romania shrug

Disclaimer: i wrote Hirouma Arakawa a nice letter asking her if she'd like to trade FMA for some nice fudgy brownies. i have not heard back but i am hopefull...

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.. Part 2: take me by the hand and make me warm ..

Ed had wanted badly to go to Mustang in the day's that followed that, he had gone into the office but the man hadn't shown up. He had even gone to Mustang's townhouse, but had never been able to convince himself to get closer than the sidewalk. It felt to him then too much like invasion of privacy, too much like dragging the man out into the open. Besides, he had seen the blinked back tears, when he had told the man what he found that night, what the man had done. He didn't think he could take seeing Mustang actually _cry_, and if he was in there alone who knew if he was crying. Who knew if he had the will to move.

Edward remembered the hours after the biggest mistake he had ever made, when he was still so young and impulsive. He remembered the deep sense of hopelessness that had welled up around him, the way he had sat there, arm and leg in bloody stumps, and stared at the ceiling of the Rockbell house, not having the emotional energy to cry, to move, to say anything. All that he could think of was the monumental nature of his failure, and the mark of his sin that he would have to carry for the rest of his life. And Al, _oh gods Al_, he had damned his own brother in the process as well.

But then he remembered something else, he remembered eyes like polished onyx that had gazed at him, and appraised him like he still might be something of value, even half broken and thoroughly damned as he was he remembered a deep and reassuring voice that had offered him things he could not get on his own, a smirking mouth that had offered small shreds of hope that he could fix what he had done, erase his sin. That was what made the decision for him. It didn't matter anymore, whether seeing the man fall apart would hurt Edward, the boy needed to go in there, and he needed to make sure the colonel got up, to make sure he realized his sin was not insurmountable.

Still his resolve was tested though, when it came time to finally knock on the door. Hell, he wasn't even sure the man was _in there_, and if he was, would he want to be comforted at all? It was one thing for an eleven year old boy to be comforted by a young man, but for a Colonel of his age and status to be comforted by a boy, his subordinate no less. Maybe this wasn't the best idea. But the knot forming in the pit of his stomach wouldn't let him turn away, not without knowing if the bastard was okay or not at the _very_ least. He leaned on the door in front of him, his head falling forwards. If he could only get himself to knock now, if he could only build up the nerve. Just then the door opened, sending Edward off balance, flailing through the air for a second before landing firmly in the arms of a thoroughly startled Mustang.

"Well Fullmetal, I was _going_ to ask you how long you were planning on standing around on my front porch like that, but it looks like you were on your way inside anyways." The man smiled halfheartedly, the taunting note not really back in his voice yet, his eyes still slightly red, with dark, puffy circles beneath them. Edward was a little stunned, not only at the fall but by seeing the Colonel looking this vulnerable. He'd seen the man hurt, and hospitalized but that physical frailty was always overshadowed by his psychic and emotional strength. That was shattered now, even Edward could see that, and it unnerved the boy. "Now Edward, are you going to bask in my radiant glow all day, or did you come here for some purpose, other than annoying me of course?"

The boy sputtered a little as he wiggled from Mustang's grasp, the spell broken. "Bastard! I just came by to see why you weren't in the office." He looked at the man's face, his eyes still didn't meet Ed's, the lines around his mouth made him look worn, the bags under his eyes made him look frail. Ed frowned, and then quietly, "Mustang are you okay? You're not looking too good right now..."

"Well, I did just get out of the hospital Ed. Im a little under the weather still, General Hakuro decided I should take some time off to get better." Ed's eyes got a little wide.

"Does he, you know, _know_?" Edward knew how the government felt about human transmutation, and if they found out that the Colonel had done it, well the punishment would be swift, and Edward doubted it would stop at demoting the poor man so far he'd never make it back up to Colonel, let alone Fuhrer.

"No, he thinks I was hospitalized due to a sudden illness. The nurses couldn't find anything wrong with me at the hospital either," Edward's eyes were screwed to the floorboards, _I bet they couldn't_, the thought made him color slightly, "so they wrote it off as stress related. It was a relief to know I'll probably get better soon." Roy shuffled his feet, staring at the slippers he wore inside the house.

"Um, hey Roy..." Edward pretty much croaked, the knot forming in his throat becoming obvious at this point, "listen, i know this is probably a fucked up time for you, i know it was for me, and i just wanted to say..." he trailed off, it was difficult to put these words together in a coherent string, even more so to say them, to _him_ of all people. His eyes studied the laces of his boots intently then, "if you ever need some ... you know, someone to talk to or something..." Ed colored slightly. Like Mustang would ever come to _him_ for help, he probably had a million friends to go to in his time of need. He was much to perfect not to.

X

Envy led his new brother to the underground compound the sins called home. The man was still a little weak, not enough red stones in him yet, not enough time on earth for him to pass the time of naivete and stubborn pride that all the homunculi shared when they were born. The new sin had felt the near untouchable nature of his condition without understanding the limitations it also presented for him. Envy never enjoyed the first month or two after each sins birth when they were like this. He did, however, enjoy seeing them learn the lessons. They always died once before they realized it, some more than once.

He smiled a mischievous and dark smile, watching this one fall would be precious, after he had sat so close to the Elrics, to Edward. Watching him learn would be an experience to savour. Envy had so much to teach him, so much to show the man before he could be useful to the cause. And he was sure Dante would be very happy that they had that Flame Alchemist Asshole under their thumb now too. Things could hardly work out better. He smiled and led on, the sin that wore Hughes' face walking briskly behind, following him from a short distance.

He contemplated his new brother as they walked. Dante had told him this man would be called Narcisism when he had been ordered to collect the sin. Envy had found him without that much effort, and had managed to gather the then weak and malformed creature up easily. He had paused though, when he heard feet above him, a familiar voice, distant over the expanse of wood of the ceiling. He had had time to drag his unconscious new brother out of the house through a basement door, into the yard outside before crouching at the seam and waiting for the boy to appear to tend to his fallen commander.

The homunculus had been surprised by the level of intimacy expressed in that moment though, the moment when Edward had knelt by the man and cried. Envy had a twinge in his stomach then. The boy purported to hate the colonel to anyone who would listen really, and yet it was so painfully obvious that he did. It had made the sin, well, _jealous_. Mustang didn't deserve this.

Envy had remained frozen to that spot on the lawn, outside that basement door, until well after Edward had dragged the unconscious colonel up the interior stairs and out of the sin's sight. He had almost forgotten his new brother when he left. _Almost_.


	4. part 3: four familliar walls

Title: Comes Back Somehow

author: ursweetheartles

warnings: shonen-ai and m/m themes, definite AU diverging from cannon at set point. Spoilers for that thing with Hughes we're not supposed to talk about

a/n: updating and writing is tough now, with school on again, so bear with me. Unbeta'd so any constructive feedback would be nice, looking for a beta at the moment, mine seems to have decided she likes it in Romania shrug, also: yes i made Hughes into Narcisism, because Bryan was the only one being helpful when i was writing and that was his suggestion. the rest of you will get brownies for trying though. seriously, im making them right now...

Disclaimer: i wrote Hirouma Arakawa a nice letter asking her if she'd like to trade FMA for some nice fudgy brownies. i have not heard back but i am hopefull...

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.. Part 3: four farmiliar walls do not make a home ..

It had been a few months since Roy had gotten out of the hospital, and he was in peak physical condition once more. It had taken him a long time to be able to run as far as he did every morning, but it took him almost no time at all to get back into it. The first day had been tough, but the second had been easier, and every day got better until now, when he was pushing himself hard again. he had to keep in shape after all, he had a reputation to keep. The running also gave him a chance to think about things, mull things over in his mind. The world was always simpler at sunrise, his problems had a way of working themselves out then, coaxed by the soft light and birdsong. There wasn't anyone outside yet, the streets were tranquil and empty, only a few coffee shops and cafes open, serving breakfast for those who were awake at such an ungodly hour.

This morning Roy was a bit winded when he reached the last leg of his usual circuit, slowing to a walk, breath heavy and brow damp with sweat. He was entirely too distracted to keep running really, and if he couldn't focus he might as well give up now, and finish it when he could concentrate better. One would think it would be easier for him now. He was back at work in headquarters, even if Hawkeye did insist on her own special version of coddling him, by drowning him in enough paperwork that he didn't have time to do anything too strenuous.

Life really had been quieter than usual since "the incident," as everyone around him called it. His subordinates skirted him in annoying little ways, like he might break if not treated with care. It annoyed him to no end. The only one who didn't was Fullmetal, but he had been away on missions for most of that time, mostly to the small coastal border Asmestris shared with Kudjai in the south west. There had been some border skirmishes by a small ring of terrorists. There was never much damage done, and the casualties were quite minimal given the frequency of the attacks, but it was still considered hostile activity towards Asmestris, and was then to be investigated and firmly discontinued.

The last time the boy had been home was five weeks ago, and lately he had been giving weekly reports over the phone from the secure line in the local military outpost. The area was becoming more stable though, and Edward's efforts were definitely turning out to be invaluable to the effort, having already stopped several of the people involved in the smaller actions in the city. But he would have to come home soon, come back to central, if only for a little while. There was new information on the group given to him by against working with the military's ambassador to Kudjai, and information that was to be kept confidential for the safety of all involved.

Hawkeye had already called the blonde boy, letting him know of the new information and his orders to return so that he could be briefed on the matter. He was catching a train back to central tomorrow, and it would take him a little more than a day and a half to get to the city, taking the express train. Which meant Mustang was more restless and irritable than usual, a fact he would not let himself admit now. He blamed it on his recovery from the incident, he blamed in on stress and lack of sleep, he blamed it on the damn paperwork, anything that wasn't Edward, anything he could pin the emotions roiling around in his head on. He sighed, and kept running in the dawn light. Everything seemed simpler now, but the feeling never lasted past the shower he would take when he got home again, after which he would slip on his uniform and head to the office. He would wait there, pretending to do his paperwork until he heard news of the blonde boy's return. until then he knew he couldn't concentrate.

X

Edward dragged his suitcase onto the train and sighed. It was slightly cooler on the train, due to it being in the shade, but it was only marginally more comfortable, due to the lack of sufficient airflow. He grabbed a seat in the open section of the train, where the windows at least were open, making it a bit better. He stuffed the suitcase under the seat after eyeing the overhead luggage rack with distain. why did they have to put it so freakishly high off the ground? Normally it didn't bother Edward as much because normally he was traveling with his freakishly tall brother, who would swing the case up like it was nothing. This time, however, Alphonse had been helping Winry in the automail shop back in Risembool, as auntie Pinako had broken her hip on the stairs last winter, and it still bothered her. She was going in for some finalizing reconstructive surgery on the joint or something like that, and having someone around was helpful. Edward probably would have been there as well if not for the trouble out here in Kota, on the border. It _was_ his duty as a state alchemist to help out, after all, and for once as far as he could tell there was no ulterior motive where the government was concerned. He couldn't turn this down.

But now he was on the way back to Central at least for a little while, to be briefed on some new developments in the area from intelligence. It would be nice to get out of this heat for awhile, even if it wasn't _that_ far up to central. The train jerked into motion, most of the seats in the open car still empty. That was fine with Ed though, gave him more room to stretch out, and more time to take a nap . He had brought some books and transcriptions of interviews he had done as part of the investigation to read, and he would eventually have to write out his response for Mustang, but he had a lot of time. So now he just laid back and closed his eyes.

X

Envy was starting to ge tired of having to deal with his new sibling, the homunculous was always trailing him around and it meant that ne never got to do anything fun anymore. He couldn't even annoy the Fullmetal brat, Envy's favorite pastime, due to the fact that they couldn't have the boy seeing the newest sin, sure that he would recognize him from the human face he wore. This lead to a lot of sitting around the compound, boerd out of his mind. today was no different in the end, he had slept as late as he could force himself to sleep, even though his inhuman body didn't really _need_ the rest. It was still somewhat relazxing and a decent way to pass the time as his charge still fantastized that he needed a full nights sleep to be functional.

He hadn't been expecting the message from Dante, coming from a boerd and detached looking Lust who showed up sometime in the afternoon. He hadn't been expecting it, but that hadn't meant he that he didnt jump up right away at the promise of some new task to do, anything was better than sitting _here_ all day, wasting away. The smile he sprouted when he got the task barely fit on his face. He was being sent down to the south, where Greed had last been spotted. Dante wanted him to persuade the other sin to return to her fold once more, but Envy knew his sibling would decline the offer. That meant that Envy was given the right to threaten to seal the other homunculous, a process he had heard was painful and horrific, but he also knew Dante was fully prepared to come through on her threat, so did Greed. Just the kinds of things that Envy enjoyed dangling over the heads of everyone around him. He smiled, he was just Sadistic like that.

X

Edward's train was supposed to get into Central Station at 6:45pm, and Havoc was sent to the station to wait for him, but it was almost 8:00 before the train finally pulled in, and a rumpled and sweaty looking blonde boy stepped out onto the platform, dragging his suitcase behind him. The boy was exhausted, and sitting in the stuffy train was hellish, especially when it got stuck in the countryside when a herd of cows wouldn't get off of the tracks. He looked relieved now though, to be back on solid ground, where he could hurry back to base and take a shower, eat some food, take a nap. Havoc informed him he'd be bunking down in the guest rooms at Central, as the dorms were rather full at the moment, and they didn't want to put him in a double with someone else.

Normally the guest rooms were reserved for higher ups or foreign diginitaries, that sort of thing, but right now they weren't being used for anything, and there were quite a few of them. It was much more convenient for Ed to stay there, never having to leave base, they could have him give his report on the progress, brief him on the new, confidential information pertaining to the case, and have him on his way back out to Kota as soon as was humanly possible. There wasn't a good reason to waste time at this point, especially when Edward was so convinced that things were on there way back to being under control in the region, the local military detachment could be left to take care of things shortly.

Not that he was in any great hurry to get back to Central, and having to deal with Colonel Bastard every day, but at least central was familiar to him at this point. It was familiar in a stiff and military way though, staying in the small dorms no one could mistake for a home. Home was not a luxury Edward allowed himself, not until he restored his brother and attonned for his sins. Maybe then he would allow one place to become somewhere he could settle down and stay in, let himself have friends to surround himself with, let himself be comfortable just staying put. But for now, he couldn't.

X

Mustang used the meeting with Fullmetal as an excuse to blow off work that morning, only coming in to pick up some files and some coffee. He was meeting the boy in a private study room of the library, someplace where they could be alone to discuss this. Allegedly this was because of the sensitive nature of the material they needed to discuss, the files were considered confidential and the information could endager people on the front lines if it was leaked. But really it was about Roy getting to spend time with the blonde while he was in town. He missed having Fullmetal in the office, where he could make the boy yell and scream and get all worked up over nothing. The boy was so _cute_ when he got all worked up. The thought made Mustang blush into his coffee, chuckling softly to himself while he climbed the steps of the library building.

He knew he was late and sure enough when he got there an annoyed looking Edward was sitting in the room he had reserved steaming in his boots, waiting to tell the man off for making him wait. Roy just smirked at the boy and before he could say anything he tossed a pile of folders onto the table, sliding them over to the boy. That was the only way to shut the boy up, give him something to read. _Well, its not the only way I can get away with_, smirked the Colonel to himself. Watching the boy read was almost as facinating as watching him yell. He really was quite beautiful when he was clam.

But Roy shook his headd at his own thoughts. Just like his mind now, to snag itself on someone he had no hope of ever having. Like a defense mechanism. He knew he couldn't go there again, not after what had happened with Hughes. It was too soon to attach himself in such a way with another person. It would just be another liability, another way for the world to strike out at him. _Another person to die on me, even if Fullmetal is remarkably difficult to kill_.

X

Edward was glad for the long train ride on the way back, as it gave him a chance to look over the files he'd been given by the colonel. He settled into a private compartment this time, not wanting to be distrubed while he read the still classified dicuments. He'd already read the file through once or twice, but he knew he had to memorise the information and destroy the file when he got to where he was going. He was alreay scribbling away in his notebook, writing in his own code the important information he gleaned, the things he thought might help him in the future of the investigation.

Apparently there was a very strong possibility that there was a Homunculous behind the border skirmishes with Kudjai, and there was a possibility that they were only a coverup for a smuggling operation running along the roads outside of town. This Homunculous, going by what the file had said was surly a psydonym of Greed had already made enimies in the military, and he didn't care much for the laws of the country or of Alchemy. He had many people working for him, and his hands in many dfferent circles of illegal activity, from drugs and prostitution to rather dangerous and illegal alchemy. It was suspected that he was importing illegal chimeras to Asmestris for slave labor in a number of different locations, that they were held in a compund outside of the city of Sajwati, right on the other side of the border, untill there were buyers lined up. They were then smuggled into the country and the exchange was made, usually in a town north of Kota by train.

This was an interesting development, but one that would take the investigation out of his jurisdiction if he reported it so soon. He needed to know mroe specifics before he could bring this to the higher ups, which is why Roy had given it to him. Roy was trying to help him make things right there, he was trying to play to boy's sense of idealism, give him something that needed his skills and special finnesse. he was, after all, an alchemist hero of the people. Roy's last words echoed in Edward's headd still,

_Oh, and be careful Fullmetal, we know these Homunculii are dangerous, It wouldn't do to have you put out of commission over something like this. I ... I mean, WE don't want to see you come back hurt, okay? Now report in as _soon_ as you get back, and keep in touch. Don't hesitate to ask if you need backup. We _need_ you here, Edward._ Those words kept distracting him from the task at hand, wondering why the colonel had made it so personal, why he had sipped tha way he did, almost letting his mask fall. Edward smiled then, he thought it was probably good for the man to let it fall once in awhile, keeping a mask like that up took a lot of effort. It didn't take long, however, for Edward to fall asleep with the file open in his lap. He slept most of the way back to Kota, the counducter just smiling at the peacefull looking boy, letting him sleep because lord knows he looked like he needed it.

X

Narcisism was glad to have his first assignment, eager to get on the bosses' good side, and to impress his companion, Envy. He wanted to show Dante and his sibling that he could follow orders, that he was smart and capable, that he was an asset that they could be proud of. Besides, whenever he did something right, Envy would give him a small smile, a smile that was just for him, that made his world brighter. He was sure that if he could do this right, he could see that smile again. The thought made him all warm inside. The assignement was to go to the station and tail a military operative looking for Greed. Hopefully the man would lead him to the wayward sin, and then they could intercept the officer and bring Greed into their own custody. He knew Envy would be working with him here, they would keep in touch but they would work seperatly.

He looked at the picture Envy had given him, of the boy the were supposed to be tailing. He wore his golden hair in a long braid, and his amber eyes were large and clear, his lips pressed into an annoyed line. This should be easy. Besides, he had heard Envy speak of the boy, _the damn Fullmetal pipsqueak_, with distain. He knew his sibling disliked the boy, but was familiar with the boy as well. Envy had told him of the boy's habits, from time spent with him before. Narcisism knew that if he could bring the boy down, if he could take him in, then Envy would smile at him twice as large. And he would do anything for that smile.

He was brought back to the present by the sound of brakes as the train slid into the station, and he looked up to get a nod from Envy across the way, wearing the body of a woman selling flowers. He knew he was supposed to stay back, not let the boy see him, and he did what he was told, scanning the crowd for the shock of blonde. Then he saw the boy step from the train, a folder under one arm, a suitcase in the other.

Target sighted. He smiled, nodded at his partner across the platform. The chase was on.


	5. part 4: draw the strings together

Title: Comes Back Somehow

author: ursweetheartles

warnings: shonen-ai and m/m themes, definite AU diverging from cannon at set point. Spoilers for that thing with Hughes we're not supposed to talk about

a/n: updating and writing is tough now, with school on again, so bear with me. Unbeta'd so any constructive feedback would be nice, but flames will be ignored

.. part 4: draw the strings together ..

Edward had been quite oblivious to being followed as he made his way across the square to the inn the military was putting him up in while he was in Kota. The outpost in the town was small, and thus didn't have any free dorm space, let alone guest rooms like there were in Central headquarters. Not that Ed was complaining about that, it was nice to stay in the inn, more comfortable than a dorm in the long run, but still possessive of that transient quality that hotels have, a sense of no one having stayed here too long, a sense that no one thought of this as home, only a place to sleep for a short amount of time. He knew he couldn't leave himself much time to relax and settle back in before he would need to start trying to find this Greed character. He would just throw everything up in his room, maybe take a quick shower and change his clothes, then he would be off again, with a good two or three hours of work to do before he could come back for the night. He sighed, as he reached the brick building and started up the stairs to pick up his key from reception.

X

Narcisism sat out side the inn for forty five minutes before the blonde came back outside. He nodded to Envy, who was lounging beside the door, smoking, and, after waiting a couple steps so as not to be suspicious, he followed the boy. It was envy's job to go upstairs and look around Edward's room for any clues while the newer sin tailed the boy through the town. His work in intelligence in his past life had supplied him with the almost instinctually ingrained skills he needed to not be easily caught by the prey, knowing full well what his older sibling had told him. This boy knew the man that the sin had once been, the weaker form from which his looks had been stolen. So he stayed well back while walking, keeping the boy in sight without stumbling into his view.

He wasn't doing anything interesting though, and he wasn't leading the sin to anything that even looked like a clue to Greed's whereabouts. This made him impatient, thinking about the way Envy would be disappointed if he didn't find anything out. He didn't like this idea. It only made him more anxious, and the more anxious he got the less he paid attention and the less he paid attention the closer he got to being seen by his quarry.

It was then that he's seen Envy return, the form he had been wearing before appearing on the other side of the vendor the blonde had stopped to talk to. He smiled at his sibling across the square, from his hiding spot lounging in an empty doorway. It only took lowering his guard that much though, as when he looked back he locked eyes with the blonde, who stared dumbly at him. Narcisism cursed under his breath at his own incompetence and the boy's intuition. He _should_ have been much more careful. Now they had no choice, Envy scowling slightly as the boy staggered backwards in surprise. He took off running then, and both of the sins fell in behind him, catching up to him easily and steering him into a nearby alley, with a great degree of difficulty. Once they were inside though, a quick blow to the head was all it took to dispatch the still stunned alchemist. Now all they had to do was get him out of here without being seen. That shouldn't be too hard, now should it?

X

Mustang slept restlessly that night, tossing and turning, not quite able to get comfortable. This seemed to set the mood for the night. Whenever he finally did doze off he was confronted by a repetitive and oddly foreboding image, a giant set of doors carved from stone, a thousand eyes on the surface.

_The door was big and Mustang stood afraid of it unsure of his own scale next to the object, like he was a cartoon someone had drawn entirely too small. The doors scared him, deep down inside, they somehow reminded him of death and sickness, of everything that would cut things short, everything lost in equivalent exchange, everything taken away from a person, and the desperation it took to ask for those things back, even standing before this solid weight of stone and power._

_Mustang is filled with a solid weight of dread, clawing at his stomach, as the heavy doors swing open slowly. He wants to back away, he wants to run, run, RUN as fast as he can but he can't get his legs to move. The door swings open to reveal the arms, thousands of black stretchy wavy tentacles that reach towards him. He winces, moves backwards, trips over himself and falls, still edging slowly from the inevitable touch, but that is as fast as he can coerce his mind into going._

_Then there is a figure, a figure cast from white air, from fog, a figure who isn't exactly there, but who still gives off a great impression of _presence._ He smiled and the dread and fear in Roy's gut turns white hot and alive, squirming of its own volition. The figure opens his mouth to speak, but Roy cannot understand the words. They're in some strange language he cannot understand, a patois built of soft edged warmth that sat familiar but nonsensical in his brain and whirs and clicks the were completely foreign to his ears. _

_Roy could only stand, not understanding what the figure wanted, not until the figure raised its arm to the man, reaching out to touch him. Roy screwed his eyes tightly shut, it was the only thing he could think of to do._

X

When Edward's thoughts came swimming back into focus, the world was in darkness, his head hurt more than anything on his body had any right to hurt, and there were muffled voices coming from somewhere near him. He tried to stretch up to rub the sore spot on the back of his head, sure he would feel a huge bump as that was the only way to explain this. It took him a second to realize he couldn't move his arms. He panicked then, trying to buck his body upwards but not being able to move his legs either. He was tied tightly to the chair he was sitting in. His heart was racing in his ears when he gave up, breathing deeply until the voices beside him came into some sort of a focus.

"...well if you had been paying a little more attention to what you were _supposed_ to be doing and not staring at me across the square we wouldn't be in this mess, now would we? now i have to call her and tell her we messed this up."

"I was only distracted for a second, and only because you were smiling like an idiot at me..." This second voice sounded familiar to Edward, but he couldn't put his finger on why, or from where.

"Oh, I so was not even. And its pointless to argue about this now, what's done is done. At least we have all the information the pipsqueak had, so we didn't really lose out on much there..."

"So this isn't the end of the world? we can recover from this?" There was some hope in the familiar voice, it annoyed Edward that he couldn't figure out who it _was_.

"Oh, it would take a whole lot more than one chibi-sized bump in the road to ruin the plan. No, the plan goes forward. Especially since we gained a considerable asset in this bump in the road, im sure this will turn out to give us a bit more _leverage_." Edward wasn't entirely sure what that meant, but it didn't give him good feelings.

X

Mustang stared out the window of the office into the courtyard below, nervously tapping his pen against the stack of paperwork he was very diligently pretending didn't currently exist. It had been a week since Edward had left for Kota, and the man hadn't heard from him once. He knew the blonde was very easily distracted, especially when he got caught up in a case like this. But still, it was dangerous out there right now and he couldn't help but worry about Ed.

There was a ringing, and the man snatched the phone from the cradle, "Mustang" he barked, and as he expected the voice on the other end was the military outpost in Kota. Roy had asked the man to go find Edward this morning, and give him immediate orders to call back to central. But the man on the other end of the phone said he couldn't find Edward, he had not returned to the hotel in which he had been staying the past couple nights, and no one they had interviewed had had any idea where the boy could be.

Mustang's first thought was _fuck, _followed quickly by, _fuck, fuck _and_ FUCK._ _Edward's in trouble, I knew it, I shouldn't have let him go out there y himself, no matter how much easier it would be for him to blend in and stay covert. Fuck, now he's in trouble, he's in enemy territory and its all my fault._ Mustang's head hit the desk below him with a loud thud, and he yelled that the outpost should expect them in on the next express train in the morning, before hanging up the phone and springing to action.

It was less than eight hours later that Roy was sitting on an express train to Kota. He hadn't slept any of those hours, spending most of them packing supplies and readying his subordinates for his departure. Havoc had demanded to be allowed to come, to which Roy and succeeded. Riza had also requested to come, but he told her she had to stay there, the office simply would not run without her presence, and the office needed to keep functioning. She would be in command in his absence.

This was the only thing that kept him from worrying about the office at the moment, which was good because if he'd had something else to worry about he'd have had to find someway to expand his capacity to worry because every cell capable of the emotion was currently focused on a certain blonde alchemist. _When did I start worrying about Edward this much? I mean, I always tried to look out for the boy, but this is different, this is desperate concern. I'm jumping on a train at a moments notice just because the boy hasn't reported in in the last week. Its a little ridiculous really._ And it _was_ ridiculous, but that didn't mean he could stop worrying, not even long enough to get some sleep. He shook his head. He was going to go out there and find Edward, drag the boy back home, and give him the worst lecture of his goddamn life. _Yeah, and thats not _all_ I'd give him._

_X_

The blond was still tied up, still blindfolded, his head was swimming and time was falling in and out of focus. The owner of the less familiar of the two voices had come by and stuck him with a needle full of something to make him more pliable and it was seriously messing with his head. He had gathered by now that they were looking for the same homunculous that he was looking for, but the one who had stuck him had seemed like he actually knew this character, although he didn't seem to speak highly of him or be in league with him in nay way. Still, its wasn't like the enemy of his enemy was his friend here. Friends don't tie friends up and inject them with weird drugs. At least, not without permission...


	6. part 5: the enemy with my lovers face

Title: Comes Back Somehow

author: ursweetheartles

warnings: shonen-ai and m/m themes, definite AU diverging from cannon at set point. Spoilers for that thing with Hughes we're not supposed to talk about

a/n: updating and writing is tough now, with school on again, so bear with me. Unbeta'd so any constructive feedback would be nice, but flames will be ignored

.. part 5: the enemy with my lovers face ..

It was well after midnight by the time Mustang and Havoc got into the station at Kota. Their first stop upon arrival was the inn where Fullmetal had been staying. They asked around a little when they got there, not really expecting to get any new or interesting information as the local military detachment had already been through everywhere that obvious. The only thing they learned from this line of questioning was that Edward had left that day around 11 in the morning, which was about usual for him. He had ordered breakfast downstairs, and then he had left and didn't come back. They hadn't really worried, as military people tended to do things like that, especially the more theoretical of the alchemists, always forgetting things. They figured he had left, and just forgot to check out.

This wasn't that helpful really, but Havoc wrote it down anyways before they both retired to their respective rooms upstairs. Havoc was asleep almost before his head hit the pillow, but Roy, though equally exhausted, couldn't help but toss and turn. He couldn't get comfortable in the unfamiliar bed while Edward was somewhere unknown, possibly hurt or possibly even dead. roy shook his head at that, like the movement could shake the thoughts from his mind. If something happened to Edward he knew he could never forgive himself. If he had let something happen to the boy, if he had failed him the way he had failed Maes, he knew he would never be able to come to terms with himself ever again.

He lay awake staring at the ceiling until the early rays of dawn hit it from the window. When he finally closed his eyes and drifted off for a little more than an hour he dreamed of stone doors with a thousand eyes and a figure without a body, but with a smile that made his blood run cold.

X

Narcisism had rose early that morning, to go back to the hotel and grab the chibi's stuff before the military got to it. Envy had though there may be something useful there that he hadn't caught, and really there was no reason not to get it. If there was something more, some notes or formulas or something, maybe a book or two, they no longer needed to be quiet and careful when searching as the chibi was tied up in the compound, there was no way he'd notice either way.

The new sin hoped that he would be able to bring something back to please his brother. He didn't like the way the older sin acted around the chibi, lavishing the brat with attention. Most of it was cruel and belittling but that didn't make it any less uncomfortable for the newer homunculous. Before the boy had come into the picture it had just been him and envy, and now there was a third and Narcisism didn't like him at all. He couldn't wait until they got what they wanted here and could kill the damn boy and go back home, together, and do things just the two of them, like they used to.

Narcisism was standing on the rooftop across from the inn, getting ready to jump across onto the ledge outside the window to the brat's room when he saw them. Military men, two of them. They were in uniform, and they were gathering up the boy's things, looking through them and packing them into a box. The sin swore under his breath, Envy would not be pleased with this and he really hated to disappoint Envy. His brother had a habit of ignoring him when he was unhappy with him, and Narcisism hated to be ignored, especially by his brother.

Then there was an odd lurch in his stomach, one of the military officers turned towards the window, he had dark hair, pale skin, almost black eyes, he was holding a notebook in his hand, reading through the contents like it was something puzzling. There was a weird shifting feeling in the sin's gut, like something alive and slippery was trying to work its way out through the walls of muscle around his middle. This man's face felt odd to him, almost painful to look at, almost like he recognized it but the memory attached to it was underneath hundreds of feet of water, all rippling and refracting the light until the shape of the thing could barely be seen. He didn't like it, his mind screamed for him to get up, to go home, to run run run. But he couldn't, all he could do was stare. Well, it was all he could do until the dark eyes turned up towards him, and registered pure shock and terror for a single moment before the spell was broken. Then Narcisism ran and didn't look back, not stopping until he was inside the compound, under 10 feet of dirt, a solid wall between him and the thing from inside of his head. He slumped down into a chair when he got there and stared blankly at the floor, wondering what exactly had happened and what could be done about it.

X

Envy had smiled when he heard the news, he had a fairly good idea of who it was that his brother had seen in the chibi's hotel room, and if he was right then this was going to be a lot more fun than he had anticipated. The colonel had come to try and rescue his subordinate, though the sin throughly doubted that they knew where the little brat was at the moment. He was quite sure on the other hand that they had no idea how to stop, or weaken a homunculous in the first place, so if they did figure out where the chibi was they wouldn't be able to _do_ anything about it. It would be so perfect. In the end he knew all he had to do was send his brother out to find the man, and the idiot would follow him home. Then he could _really_ have some fun. His only regret was that Dante wouldn't let him kill the man, but he was sure she wouldn't mind too much if he had some fun with him.

X

Roy stared wide eyed at the window for several seconds after the form had disappeared. _Apparition_, he told himself, _ it must have been and apparition, it couldn't be real._ He had seen the face he had thought he would never see again there, sitting on the roof across from him and it had taken a moment to register and more than a moment more to shake himself from the stunned silence. He pressed his face against the window then, looking out to see if he could follow the path of the image but the form was gone, vanished. _Apparition,_ he reminded himself, _it wasn't Maes, just a ghost, another ghost to haunt me._ He let his body fall slowly then, leaning against a wall, his back scraped on the surface as he slid down it.

"Chief?" said Havoc, questioningly, confusion written in his features. The question in his eyes was obvious.

"Im, Im fine, just didn't get a whole lot of sleep last night, with all the preparations and making the train, and all the other things we have to worry about." Roy could tell the officer didn't quite believe him, but was too wise to push him now, as he was white as a sheet, face sheened slightly with sweat, sitting on the floor of a hotel room that was not his own.

"Mustang, you know we will find the little boss, right? He's probably just found some lead on the stone and run off to follow it. He never was one to remember to do things right when that was involved." Again, Roy could tell the man didn't believe his own words, but he smiled anyways, and pulled himself up off of the ground.

"Tonight I'll go to bed early and we can get a new crack at this tomorrow. For now, lets just finish getting all of this stuff together so that we can get it back to base and sort through it there." Truthfully, there wasn't much left to do, as Edward travelled insanely light, not leaving much behind when he left without it. Mostly Roy just wanted to be out of this room, and away from that window now, away from what he thought he'd seen, away from the reminders of a sin he would always carry in the back of his mind, the death of a friend, of a lover. Roy knew now that every thing he touched led to ruin. It was a sin he hoped he would not have to carry again, for a beautiful boy he'd never even touched. This is why he searched now, with all the energy he could muster, and why he knew he would not sleep again that night, or any other night until he saw the boy again.

X

While Roy dreamed fitfully, haunted by a smiling figure that was getting disturbingly familiar, and Edward sat in a drugged stupor, not aware of anything around him past the rough sketch his brain could focus on, Narcisism sat curled up in a chair in the library of the underground compound and stared at the dying embers of a fire he had built earlier. The face ha had seen in the Chibi's hotel room was haunting him now, whispering things inside of his head that he couldn't make out. All he knew was the lips, moving sloly and hypnotically, and the tone made him stand on edge, made a red hot dagger of doubt stir the dregs of his insides. He had thought and thought and though and he had only come up with blurry snapshots of the memories.

He saw himself standing over the man, and onxy eyes looking back up into his, he saw the man gleaming with sweat, flat on his back, eyes screwed shut, he saw pale skin and long fingers, felt them trail along him jaw and trace the tendons and bones in his neck, his chest. These memories hurt him though, they burned his touch a little more every time he reached out for them, trying to make sense of the disjointed images. Part of him wanted to know what they meant, who the man he had seen was, who the man had been to him. The other part however, the black venomous needy part, the part that was sin in him wanted nothing more than to crush the man in him hands, watch the face fall apart and the eyes sink into an unrecognizable mush.

But he did nothin for either goal, he just stayed in the chair in the library in his new home, touching the edges of the memories every once and awhile, playing the easier of the clips back in his head, just to make sure they were still there, make sure that if he ever needed them they would be within easy reach. He pushed out with his newly found paower then, sensing the edges of the boy every once and awhile, making sure that he was kept drugged enough to keep even thoughts of escaping from his mind.

It had been Envy who had told Narcisism that he would have a gift, that one was given to each sin, though it had been up to the younger sin to find it and master it on his own, Envy had other things to worry about. He had found it only a day or two earlier, the ability to sense emotion in someone, and even read the surface of their thoughts, like a hand grasing the top of a pool or water, only getting so wet before it pulled back. The youngest homunculous was still a little bit clumsy with his powers though, he knew he did not have the practiced air he saught, he knew he did not know how to do certain things, but it didnt bother him much. Envy had told him it would pass in time, and he would become the master over his new found talent.


	7. interlude: brotherly love PWP

Title: Comes Back Somehow

author: ursweetheartles

warnings: shonen-ai and m/m themes, definite AU diverging from cannon at set point. Spoilers for that thing with Hughes we're not supposed to talk about

a/n: updating and writing is tough now, with school on again, so bear with me. Unbeta'd so any constructive feedback would be nice, but flames will be ignored

-------------------------------------------------------------

.. interlude- brotherly love ..

Envy wandered aimlessly through the compound thinking about how bored he was and wishing there was something interesting to do here. At first he had entertained himself with the kidnapped chibi, but due to the amount of drugs in the boy's system he wasn't very responsive at the moment. This may not have been the most fun for him, but he knew the consequences in the boy got loose here. He didn't want to bring down the wrath of dante upon them, even though it was more inconvenient than scary to the sin.

he realized as he rounded a corner that he hadn't seen his new sibling since he had gotten back from the pipsqueak's hotel room, and he had looked kind of shaken then. It had taken Envy a while to figure out why before he connected the images of the man's past life to the situation at hand. It made him smile. He set off to find his brother quickly then, finding him in the library, quite predictably. He smiled as he leaned on the chair beside Narcisism's, eyeing the dejected man with an air of amusement and an affected sense of concern.

"Hey there, you okay buddy?" The man looked up, violet eyes meeting violet eyes.

"That man, the one i saw, i feel like i know him somehow. I feel like i should remember but it hurts when i try." The younger one clutched his knees to his chest in the chair, managing to look young and cute there.

"You did know him, his name is Roy Mustang, he's a colonel in the military that you used to work for, before you were reborn." The man looked like a recognized the name, but no much else.

"I felt something from him when he saw me there, something behind the fear and surprise. I can't place it, and I can't get too close to it." Envy walked closer to his brother, letting one hand tangle in the man's hair, causing him to look up, and their eyes to lock again.

"It was probably nothing, just a remnant of his attachments to the one you used to be. But now those things are behind you, you have been reborn a thousand steps closer to perfect now, you don't need those attachments or any of those stupid emotions." He took another step closer, leaning over the man now, his own body pressing lightly against the form beneath him. "The only feeling that matter now are pain, and pleasure." Envy closed the miniscule gap between their faces then, planting his lips onto those of the man beneath him, who let out a startled gasp. He was stiff for a moment, before letting his brother in, Envy pushing forward with all he had, the kiss growing more bruising and intense.

Then he pulled back, and the younger sin whimpered slightly, not knowing why his brother had left. Quickly though Envy had pulled the man up, and led him to the table where he pushed him backwards, until he was sitting on the top, Envy standing between his legs. The older sin pulled the mans face down again then, capturing his lips once more as they started tugging at each others clothing, hands dancing over cool pale flesh, pressing skin against skin harshly.

It didn't take long for Envy to wrap on slender hand around his brother's desire, digging slightly into his stomach. It only took a few strokes before the younger was gasping with an open mouth, trailing breathy kisses down Envy's chin and chest. He was unhappy to stop, but when envy pulled away slightly and pressed fingers to his lips he opened right away, greedily sucking the digits, soaking them as well as he could. he felt the cool trail they left on his skin as his brother ghosted them downwards, stopping only at the junction of his cheeks, searching lightly for the entrance hidden there.

Narcisism gasped as he felt the first finger enter him roughly, but he knew it was what he he wanted, what he _needed_, and thus he pushed back onto it, to the limited degree which that was possible in their current position. Envy took this as a sign, quickly adding another finger, probing them around, scissoring and hooking them, simultaneously stretch his brother and looking for ... The younger sin arched off the table in surprise and Envy knew he had hit the right spot, his other hand moving down to circle the man's length. He started pumping his hand around Narcisism's erection, as a cover for pulling out his fingers and lining up his own need at his brother's entrance.

With a quick stab of his hips he was inside all the way, his pelvis resting against the flesh of his brother's ass. The man beneath him went rigid for a moment before he relaxed slightly, which was all the indication the older sin needed, as his body was screaming at him to move. And move he did, quickly snapping his hips, out, then back in, driving himself into the form below him, who was now clutching at his neck, and letting out little open mouthed cries, eyes screwed shut and pleasure written across his face. It made Envy smirk, and his thrusts only got more violent then, hips smashing into his brother's body, he could feel the man tensing up beneath him at every stabbing inward stroke, but that didn't stop the little cries of ecstasy slipping from the sin's mouth, or the way he clutched at envy's neck desperately. Envy could feel something hot and slick on his thighs now, he guessed it was blood. He wasn't exactly being gentle here. But the man was a homunculous, he'd heal fast.

He could feel the man beneath him was getting closer to his peak with every stroke, so Envy snaked a hand between their bodies to grab Narcisism tightly in his hand, pumping to the rythm of the punishing strokes he still dealt. Then it was over in a flash, the younger brother crying his name softly, spouting warm and salty into the space between them, soon slick and spread across their chests, stomachs, thighs. The slight spasms around Envy's own heat caused him to follow quickly, biting back a cry of his own.

Narcisism laid back limply then, flat out on the table, and Envy flopped right down on top of him, stretching languidly before pulling back softly, unsheathing himself with a wince before crawling up onto the table to lay close to his brother. Envy yawned deeply, and smirked. It seemed having the newer sin around had more benefits than he had previously anticipated.


	8. part 6: scrying for gold

Title: Comes Back Somehow

author: ursweetheartles

warnings: shonen-ai and m/m themes, definite AU diverging from cannon at set point. Spoilers for that thing with Hughes we're not supposed to talk about

a/n: updating and writing is tough now, with school on again, so bear with me. Unbeta'd version so any constructive feedback would be nice, but flames will be ignored.

.. part 6: scrying for gold ..

Mustang had slept fitfully at best the night before and now he was in serious need of coffee and food, preferably in that order, and preferably as soon as he could possibly manage. Him and Havoc had stayed over in the inn that Fullmetal had booked himself into, they had rooms next to each other on the top floor and the woman who ran it told them they could stay there until the investigation was over, until they found Edward. The colonel yawned heartily as he stumbled downstairs to meet his lieutenant in the restaurant downstairs. They had agreed to split up that day, cover different parts of town, and meet back up at the inn in the evening.

When He did stumble into the dining room he was surprised to see Havoc already down there with a full cup of coffee and an empty plate, talking animatedly to one of the waitresses. He didn't even notice his commanding officer until the man flopped down beside him, grunting a small greeting and trying to communicate his need fro coffee to the woman hovering over the table. she giggled slightly and twittered something Roy didn't quite catch before disappearing behind the doors Roy sure as hell hoped led into the kitchen, or wherever else some godforsaken place like this would keep their coffee.

"Well you certainly seem pleasant this morning chief, I though you said you were going to actually get some sleep last night." Havoc seemed a little concerned, but when Mustang only grunted in response he turned and smirked into his own coffee. He watched the man out of the corner of his eye. "You really do miss the little boss, don't you Colonel?" He watched Mustang jump in surprise, it had been a bit of a gamble true, but he'd hit home. He smirked even harder, he'd been right. His expression sobered a little then, though a smile still clung to his lips desperately. "Don't worry Chief, we'll find the little guy." _sure, we'll find him, but will he be okay? _

X

Envy smiled as he sat across the square and watched the two military men come out of the inn and split up, both heading different directions. He waited a minute before he walked over, pausing before turning after the dark haired officer. He thought that if one of them was going to find clues to lead him to the chibi that it would probably be Mustang. And he couldn't have the man just waltzing in and grabbing his subordinate and running away. No, he had to stop the man from figuring out where the boy was being kept.

_Actually, _mused Envy, _it wouldn't be so bad if he got in, as long as we could keep him from getting out again. Hey, two toys is always better than one. Besides, Dante said not to _kill_ the man, she would probably be pleased if he just broke the man for her, made him into an obedient little doggie._ The thought made the sin smile. Besides, he had seen some of the interactions between Flame and the boy and none of them had been pleasant for either party. Anything he could do to make the little blonde chibi's life more painful sounded like a good idea to him. And it only took a few second for Envy to come up with a plan. He'd need his new brother's help though, not that that would be too difficult to secure. the man worshiped the ground Envy walked on at this point, still green and malleable.

Still, he had to follow the Colonel around nonetheless, the whole day spent turning up false leads. Envy had pretty much know that the chances of him turning up anything on such an excursion were ridiculously low, but he had to check anyways. And now, well Envy would have to spoon feed the colonel any information he needed to find the compound. But it needed to be without the other officer, he was unimportant to the plan, his presence would be detrimental to Envy's goals.

Envy got very bored with following the man very quickly though, and it was with great relief that he saw the colonel heading back to the hotel to meet up with the other officer. This was all the sin needed, and he relished the thought of running home now, to the compound. When he got there he found Narcisism sitting in a large armchair in the library staring at the chibi, still bound to the same chair. It seemed like Edward was a whole lot more awake now, even if he was sitting slumped and still, blindfolded and tied down. His entrance made Narcisism look up and smile at his brother.

"How did it go? Did those military guys do anything helpful?" His voice was warm, and it made Envy smile. Narcisism was pretty cute, and a decent lay, but the kid was still stupid.

X

Narcisism had listened to his brother's plan when he got back, they had locked the little brat into the library and gone down the hall to talk. Wouldn't be good for them if the boy knew what they were planning, might ruin the surprise. He wanted to see the look on the boy's face when they dragged the man in, he wanted to slowly watch them both fall apart, and he knew he would relish every moment of it. The blonde child had stayed so well composed so far, no matter what the sin tried to do to break his will. Envy had told him they needed to keep the boy alive, so that limited his options. He didn't say they couldn't hurt the boy, as long as he stayed whole and sane, but he reasoned that breaking him emotionally would help them, make him easier to form and manipulate.

And it would be just as sweet to break the other one, the dark haired man. Narcisism had decided he didn't like that man, he hated the way the man made him feel, fragmented and confused, no longer in control of his own self. There were fragments of memory that orbited the man like satellites, broadcasting fractured and disjoined clips and images into the sin's head. He could never quite figure out the whole story, what the pieces fit together when joined. It was like a fairy light in the forest, the more he chased after them the farther the answers got from him. his logic told him that, since seeing the man had put this series of events into action that if he eliminated the man, the feelings would go away as well, and he could return to the days of peace he had shared with Envy before this whole thing started.

And Envy had promised him that after this was over, they would be bringing the lost sin back to the shepherd headquarters. There he could meet the rest of their little family, and Narcicism was definitely interested in getting to see the rest of the sins, seeing what their special abilities were and how they used them. And then he would have Envy all to himself, and they could go on the next mission together, and it would be like it was in the beginning, before they picked up the blond brat. The boy was starting to make the sin hate him even more, showing up in some of the little bits of memory the man still had in his control.

It was unnerving, the boy would say something one particular way, and the sin would freeze, some new facet of memory thrust upon him, or some buried line dredged up from the muck he had let settle in the bottom of his mind. Every time some new fragment surface it cut the sin a little bit, reminding him that he could not bleed. Envy told him this was a blessing, it made him stronger than he had been before he was changed, that it gave him an advantage that humans didn't have, that he was a perfection on the flawed human design. But whenever one of these new fragments showed up, they cut through this theory like a hot wire through butter. He wanted to believe his brother so much, he wanted to make him proud and play that strong, infallible part. But he couldn't. He held up a fairly decent facade of superiority now, but on the inside it crumbled with every passing memory, every time he saw that man, or the blonde. It _hurt_ to remember these things, like they didn't really belong to him, like they didn't fit in his head. They reminded him that he was no longer the man these people knew, he was no longer human.

X

Roy slept fitfully that night, tossing in his bed and making feeble noises, in war with the sheets that tangled with his limbs. When he woke, the sky was still dark, only the faintest tint of dawn could be seen on the horizon. There was a feeling of deja vu as his head swam to consciousness, and the icy tendrils of a dream still gripped his mind, though he could not remember the events very well. There had been that door, a figure defined by what was missing, not what was present, and...

Roy snapped bolt upright then, suddenly his mind was clear and conscious as the daytime. One thing stuck in his head from that dream. He had a concrete feeling he knew where Edward was, and he _knew_ that if he went there tomorrow he could find the boy without even trying.

X

Edward was starting to realize exactly how long he had been gone at this point, though he still had no idea where he was or who was holding him here. the kept him blindfolded pretty much all the time, though they weren't drugging him anymore so at least he was conscious to think about these things. Thank the gods for small victories. Maybe it was because of this, but Edward was staring to get worried that no one had come for him yet, on either side of the line. If he was here for some purpose, the perpetrators sure didn't share it with him, beyond their assertions that they had wanted the information he had been carrying when they caught him. They never alluded to still needing _him_ though, so he wondered why he could possibly still be here. On the other side, it also distressed him that no one had come to rescue him either. He was a little hurt that no one from HQ had thought to come out and look for him. _What if they haven't realized Im gone? What if they think I've just run off somewhere, chasing a lead? The only person who might go after me then would be Al, he would know there was no lead, I would have told _him_ if there was one. But I don't want him here, I want him in Risembool, where he's safe and happy._

X

Mustang set out the next morning to stake out the location he remembered vaguely from his dream. After thinking it over he scoffed at the notion of this sort of thing, but he had seemed so sure of it when he woke up, so he felt he should go, if only to disprove this to himself. He had a feeling in the pit of his stomach that he would find what he was looking for there. He didn't have a feeling of being watched, or followed, but there was a form behind him that was doing just those things. Narcisism was extremely careful this time, sticking to the shadows around the edges of buildings. It was morning still, and rather early. early enough that the shadows were still quite long and dark n places.

Roy had left a note for Havoc before he'd started out that morning, telling the man he had a hunch that he had run across a clue, something that might be useful. He didn't say anything else, not wanting to make the blonde officer question his superior officer's sanity. He had slipped the note under his friend's door and slipped out into the morning air, still cool from night. He pulled the collar of his coat higher on his neck as he walked, hands shoved back down into his pockets. He could see his breath in the air slightly. _Its too early for a frost_, he though, _how can it be this damn cold down here?_ He shuffled on though, mentally mapping the city, heading towards the outskirts of the town, an area close to the border but away from the main road and the checkpoints associated with the trade that took place along it.

He knew he recognized the building when he saw it. It was a rather abandoned looking warehouse, small, the windows painted black from the other side. It made his stomach twist weirdly, he was sure it was the building he had seen in his sleep. It seemed unfathomable that he would actually be able to find it this way. This also smothered any hope he had that the boy was somewhere safe, that he had snuck out of town to follow some lead on the stone.

He tested the knob on the door. Locked. Well, he hadn't actually expected it to be that easy. He leaned on the knob, attempting to force to mouldering door open through physical coercion and pure strength and force of will. It still didn't budge. He swore quietly before stepping backwards, scouring the building for another way to get inside without breaking a window. That would definitely draw far too much attention. The last thing Roy needed was for whoever was holding Ed in there to feel threatened enough to hurt the boy. The thought of them injuring edward made mustang's stomach twist, tying itself into complicated knots. He kept telling himself he would feel this worried for any of his crew, but he knew that it was a lie really. Edward was more than just a subordinate to him, and the protective feelings he had towards the boy were more fierce and burning than those he felt for anyone else since the last time Hughes had graced his bed. The comparison obviously drawn there was too much for Roy to handle, so he ignored it, his mind working around it like a flaw in some expensive cloth.

These thoughts echoed in Narcisism's head. The sin had tucked himself behind a nearby tree, keeping an eye on the alchemist with his psychic talents. The emotions linked to the man's memories were strong, and it made the homunculous swoon slightly as they were at least mostly focussed on the man he now recognized as his human form, the flawed shell from which he had been liberated. It took a bit of time for

him to equalize his thoughts once more, focusing on the man again. Roy was walking, so the sin followed.

Mustang saw what he needed when he was halfway around the building. There was an open window, only barely cracked, but open enough that he could probably drag it up a bit and slip through. he knew he _should_ turn back then, go to the hotel and wait for Havoc to come downstairs, and go in when he had someone to watching his back. He couldn't bring himself to wait though, and within seconds he was easing the window up more, pulling himself up and swinging his legs through, ducking to fit the opening which was not very large at all. Behind him, Narcisism smiled a bit. _Turns out we don't have to lead him here after all! The stupid man waltzed into our lair by some shot of luck. Now we don't have to be careful with him anymore._ The sin smiled, knowing Envy would appreciate that fact. As long as the man stays alive and mostly sane, the sins had full reign over the colonel. Dante had given them permission to take the man now, and if they were good, and fulfilled the mission assigned them, bringing back her prodigal sin, she had promised to let them have both the boy and the man back, to do with what they pleased, to play with until they were broken.


End file.
